


okay

by trashyratty



Category: Book of Mormon
Genre: M/M, Oop, book of mormon - Freeform, im going to hell, light switch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 04:06:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13696539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashyratty/pseuds/trashyratty
Summary: some things just had to be okay





	okay

**Author's Note:**

> this is a work of fiction, credits to the creators of the book of mormon

> James Church walked into the building he had been in so many times before. The building that he used to pretend was made for him because of his last name. Those were the good memories where James would go to Chris’ house before 8:00 Church service so they could eat strawberry coated toaster tarts because the name brand was too expensive. Where he would burn his hand on the metal of the fingerprint covered toaster trying to recieve the food he only put up with for Chris. And those were the good memories where everything was strawberry scented and okay. 
> 
> And then there were the times when James would run to Chris’ house because his parents had had 6 too many shots of Peach Vodka. And where he’d spend the night at Chris’ house because he was afraid to spend it at home. Too afraid to come home to rye whiskey lulling him into a seemingly never ending pit of black eyes and broken apologies. But it was expected for him to return to his oh so humble abode  because “Home is where the heart is”. And they’d spend the night under the sheets of Chris’ 9 year old blankets, a flashlight in James’ hand and a Batman comic in Chris’. And heavy breaths because the blanket blocked out fresh oxygen, and they’d push it away to get some air, and for karaoke. 
> 
> And those were still okay memories because Chris was still there. 
> 
> Because Poptarts was a word that could still be spoken around James without the hitch of his breath. 
> 
> But then there was today. 
> 
> Today. 
> 
> Although the weather had been an excruciatingly hot 103 degrees, James was cold. Cold on his hands cold on his face cold, everywhere. 
> 
> And to any outsider they would see James as a man in a sharp black suit, carrying name brand poptarts as his head hung down. 
> 
> But to anyone that knew him, would know that it wasnt that.
> 
> It was so it felt like he was still there. 
> 
> And not in the teal-navy velvet coffin James picked out. For the thing that represented the end of a birth that came too early or too late or just right. 
> 
> Too early, James thought. 
> 
> But no else did. 
> 
> And as James went up for his speech, his eyes were welled and overflowing in salted tears. 
> 
> It was a miracle he could even see the words and read them on the over folded piece of paper. 
> 
> But it wasn’t, because he had memorized it all for him. 
> 
> “Dear Chris Thomas Poptarts”
> 
> He stopped. 
> 
> And he choked on words. 
> 
> “I hope your somehow hearing this, but that can’t be because you are dead. Your gone. Like the poptarts we had every Sunday. Like the good memories we had. Like the nice times when we sand along to Brittany Spears in pink boas we stole from your sister. And those were good times. This is not” 
> 
> Another pause as silence erupted around the room 
> 
> “I brought your favorite.”
> 
> He placed the package of name brand poptarts on his chest. 
> 
> “Name brand, too.”
> 
> And he stepped down and took his seat next to Kevin. 
> 
> And people went up. 
> 
> Said their prayers and speeches and came back down. 
> 
> The service ended one hour later. 
> 
> And Kevin walked James home, silence hanging over them, just like Chris, James thought hopefully.  
> 
> And they talked
> 
> ”James, it’ll all be alright. Okay?” 
> 
> Okay. 
> 
> What a word
> 
> ”If you say so.”
> 
> And they nodded. 
> 
> And the thoughts that Chris thought, the life that he lived, and all the things he had done, would fall away and he would decompose. 
> 
> And that was okay. 
> 
> Not because James wanted it to be. 
> 
> But because it had to be. 
> 
> Even without him.  
> 
> Because when it was over, the dream that people call life, he was there. 
> 
> Elder Chris Thomas Poptarts. 
> 
> “I love you” James breathed out, sobbing.
> 
> ”I love you more, James Church.”
> 
> And that, was not okay. 
> 
> It was perfect


End file.
